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Flash Fiction, Writing

Friday Fictioneers: The Beach Trip

This week’s Friday Fictioneers is based on a lovely photo:

Copyright-Renee Homan Heath

My offering is entitled “The Beach Trip:”

Frank felt his body relax at the scent of the ocean. It was a lot like the first time making love, he thought: he was thirty now but his mind’s eye saw himself at eight, standing in the same spot, excited. As he stepped onto the berm walkway, he felt a caress from the sea grass; it still brought his skin to gooseflesh. His left foot moved from wood to warmer sand, which furtively grasped each footfall. He approached the surf—Frank now, Frank then—felt the skip of heartbeat at the touch of wet. A release: Frank dove in.

26 Comments

  1. Jan Brown January 24, 2013 4:38 pm

    A lovely story of joyful memories, a fitting story for a beautiful photo prompt. Well done!

    • AR Neal January 24, 2013 5:02 pm

      Thank you!

  2. Sandra January 24, 2013 5:21 pm

    Until about ten minutes before I read your piece I’d never heard the word ‘berm’. And then I read it on another site and looked it up. What a coincidence.

    Nice reflective story.

    • AR Neal January 24, 2013 7:58 pm

      That is an interesting coincidence! When I was growing up, most of us just called it the beach, or a dune. Thanks to my very knowledgeable husband, I learned the proper term 🙂

  3. sustainabilitea January 24, 2013 7:00 pm

    Nicely done. I could feel his anticipation and love for the beach and ocean. I feel very much like this about mountains (and then beach after that.) 🙂

    janet

    • AR Neal January 24, 2013 8:01 pm

      Thank you, Janet! I do not have such an affinity for the mountains, unless I am looking at their majesty from a distance. Often here in Southern California, mountains mean snow (I moved out of NJ to get away from the stuff…) or altitude discomforts (it has taken me a while to get used to 2000 ft after living my life at 19 ft or less). I am for sure a beach baby 🙂

  4. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) January 24, 2013 9:25 pm

    Wonderful and sweet. And the word berm added to my vocabulary. 🙂

    • AR Neal January 24, 2013 9:52 pm

      🙂 Always happy to help increase the vocab!

  5. tedstrutz January 24, 2013 11:48 pm

    from wood to warmer sand… nice line. Nice piece.

    • AR Neal January 25, 2013 2:59 am

      It’s how I think of the beach…Thank you!

  6. rich January 25, 2013 5:45 am

    i need to know what you mean when you wrote “a release…” not sure what that means.

    • AR Neal January 25, 2013 1:18 pm

      Thank you for asking…since there is a word limit, I work hard to stay in it and it was difficult to stay with the “making love” feeling. The “release,” of memories, an exhale before diving in, was a quick attempt on my part to do that 🙂

      • rich January 25, 2013 1:22 pm

        kind of like a catharsis, reaching inner peace. i see what you mean. thanks.

        • AR Neal January 25, 2013 1:50 pm

          🙂

  7. rheath40 January 25, 2013 4:28 pm

    And I too dove right in with Frank. Very nice.

    • AR Neal January 25, 2013 4:31 pm

      Thank you 🙂

  8. Joe Owens January 25, 2013 6:34 pm

    When i was younger I used to dream of going to the beach. I felt very much like you describe here. The simple joys of pulsating water, warm sand and the bright sun.

    • AR Neal January 25, 2013 9:31 pm

      And that is exactly why I love the beach–you bring that out beautifully in your comment. Thank you!

  9. bridgesareforburning January 25, 2013 9:11 pm

    Nice memory rewind story. Very nostalgic. Ron

    • AR Neal January 25, 2013 9:31 pm

      Thank you 🙂

  10. rochellewisoff January 26, 2013 2:23 am

    Dear AR,
    i love the beach…the ocean. I wanted to dive in with Frank. Nice.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

    • AR Neal January 26, 2013 2:47 am

      Thanks, Rochelle!

  11. train-whistle January 26, 2013 8:58 pm

    “from wood to warmer sand” –a favorite line.

    • AR Neal January 26, 2013 9:06 pm

      Thank you 🙂

  12. deanabo January 27, 2013 2:37 am

    Your writing really pulled me in. I could picture everything as I was reading it. Well done.

    • AR Neal January 27, 2013 3:28 am

      Thank you so much!

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