Līgo Haībun 220W Challenge: Gone, Gone, Gone…

This month’s Līgo asks us to work the word “Melt.” My 220-word offering is entitled “Gone, Gone, Gone…”

Copyright Leif Podhajsky

Her leaving tore me apart. My world split from the moment she said she’d had enough; nothing would be the same. I keep replaying it over:

Henry. She’d said it like it was the end; I heard it in her tone. I gotta go; we are too different. You have your work, your experiments, journals, samples, meetings, and nerdy—oh, sorry, yeah?—colleagues. I have my art and modeling, yeah?

I had told Frank over coffee right after she’d said it; actually, I confessed to him that she’d come just to the door of my study and said it, then quickly wheeled her luggage out, as if I wouldn’t notice it being dragged behind her like an obstinate child.

Old boy, Frank had said, over his stomach, upon which his usual afternoon tea rested, she’s gone. We told you that she wasn’t the one, didn’t we? And now look at you—you look just melted. There are some fine fish down in the typing pool. What did you see in that limp noodle of a girl anyway? Sure, she might have had a bit of a nice body, but where was her mind?

My mind—at least what was left of it, was on her.

Sorrow works its way

Like winter’s cold through my bones.

She is gone for good.

24 comments on “Līgo Haībun 220W Challenge: Gone, Gone, Gone…Add yours →

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  1. this is great…. from the first word to the last. i got to see a glimpse of what their relationship was like and how it didn’t work out… and how it shattered him. it’s like a prefect recounting of the events that lead for that man to never be the same again 🙂

  2. Impeccable first line! The tear starts there and rips through the story of her departure. Frank…what a character…amazing description, but he cannot break through the sense of loss..Powerful writing..

    1. Thank you! I was going for the usual colorful characters; Frank was the office mate and Henry was the ‘broken one’…perhaps he was too nondescript! 🙂

      1. He’s broken -drained…I think you got him just right..there are not many layers to him..on the contrary..and Frank is the counterfoil. it worked best as is…!

  3. The sadness of the story, the heart – wrenching feeling of loss contrasting so nicely with the good, ol’ Frank for whom life just goes on as long as there’ s some tea around… Great writing!

  4. i loved the flow of your story…especially memorable: “she’d come just to the door…that limp noodle of a girl…my mind…was on her.” your haiku sealed it up nicely. <3