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Family, Society

Irresistable Shares: Saturday Self-Portraits

Today was dreadful. My son has been in the hospital for a week and the people had me come in today and his demeanor made me want to shout, “Really?!? Have you had no home training? What’s with the eating and not answering? What’s with the no eye contact? What’s with this attitude? Do you think this is a game?! Do you think I won’t leave here and not look back?!” Huff, puff, growl. Inside, I looked like this:

Copyright: Watterson

Since it was just about visiting hours, the nice therapist lady says, “Oh, you can stay and visit if you like, now that we have the plan settled.”

Settled? What is this settled of which you speak, woman? You are asking us to create some artificial, not-even-close-to-real-life situation at home for this guy so “he feels comfortable,” instead of helping us 1) learn how to help him grow emotionally without trying to manipulate to get his way and 2) find an appropriate educational/vocational/living situation that will help him grow intellectually and emotionally. Oh, the mother doth ask to much.

I ask my son if he wants me to visit. He sort of mumbles something that was supposed to be the equivalent of “yes.”

I ask what people do during the visits. He replies, “They talk to their children.”

Me: “Do the children talk back?””

Him: “Sometimes.”

Me: [accompanied by “huff, puff, harumph, growl”] “So do you want me to visit or not?”

Him: “You can go.”

Me: “Seeya.”

By the time I reached the first floor, I looked more like this:


In the end, I melted into a puddle of tears; I so disliked my child at that moment it was as close to searing hate as I’ve ever experienced. I was thankful that he hadn’t been discharged at that time because it would not have gone well. Not that he would have necessarily done anything, but my attitude was so very wrong.

While I have no idea what the next steps are, we and the hospital folk are wise to my son’s tricks. Does he have some issues? Yes. Is he playing the system to the hilt? Yes. And while I don’t have an actual plan for when he comes home, other than to go along with the crap plan they said we should put into place to keep the peace in the house (note: my parents were never given any rules by which they were to keep the peace with me. Just sayin’.), I am more like this right now:


By tomorrow, who knows.


  1. themisanthropicmuse February 10, 2013 1:55 am

    and this is why I don’t want my kids to turn into teens. I remember what I was like as a teen and it wasn’t pretty. I so can’t deal with the snark and attitude. Ugh… can’t they stay six forever?

    • AR Neal February 10, 2013 2:00 am

      True! And with developmental delay, there’s this whole regression thing. So, dude was already delayed and now he’s backing up? Really? And I’m supposed to just be okay and do his bidding, like not fussing about him being filthy and not commenting on how bad his room (and subsequently my hallway) stinks because he, his bedclothes, and his laundry have not been done in eons. Riiiiight…

      • themisanthropicmuse February 10, 2013 2:03 am

        My daughter has DD too… Is it more noticeable as they get older? I was hoping it wouldn’t be…

        • AR Neal February 10, 2013 2:07 am

          It all depends on the child; I have encountered many folks whose kids with delays eventually catch up and move forward. In our case, the first developmental pediatrician who saw my son at 3 years old said, “He may hit a wall at some point that he can’t get beyond.” I was angry when she said it and refused to believe it. Maybe that’s the problem 😉 I also know some folks who are providing care for their adult kids with delays. My son doesn’t want to be here and he doesn’t want responsibilities. We are trying to find a transitional living opportunity for him if possible.

          • themisanthropicmuse February 10, 2013 2:12 am

            Oh man that’s gotta be rough. I feel for you. My daughter just seems very immature for her age like she still tantrums sometimes like a two year old. It’s embarrassing but if she still acts like that when she gets older, I have no idea how I’ll be able to handle it.

          • AR Neal February 10, 2013 2:29 am

            That’s our dilemma; my son seems to have regressed over this last year. Sure, before that his behaviors were a source of issue, but the hygiene issues and lack of understanding of consequences, etc. are almost more than we can deal with on a daily basis. Hence the angler-fish-face on my part… 🙂

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