Trifecta Week Sixty-Five: The Board Meeting

I have been somewhat remiss in my Trifecta duties for the past couple of weeks. I hang my head in shame. However, I can again hold my head up, since I have again rejoined the land of the…er…um… Well, you know what I mean. The prompt this week is

EXHAUST (transitive verb)
1a : to consume entirely : use up <exhausted our funds in a week>
b : to tire extremely or completely <exhausted by overwork>
c : to deprive of a valuable quality or constituent <exhaust a photographic developer>
2a : to draw off or let out completely
b : to empty by drawing off the contents; specifically : to create a vacuum in
3a : to consider or discuss (a subject) thoroughly or completely  

My 282-word offering this week is entitled “The Board Meeting:”

“Madam Chairman, it is imperative that we determine a proper course of action regarding the series of complaints raised by a majority of the residents in the Downs; those malefactors are objecting to the proposal offered by the Board to the Housing Committee, suggesting that the original housing developments be taken down and energy efficient condominiums be immediately erected so as to improve the conditions for the elderly, infirm, and disadvantaged.” Mr. Bainbridge took not even a single breath as he opened the meeting with yet another argument.

Ms. Falkenbrecker did her best to not to roll her eyes; despite having handed out and electronically shared all the tenets of Robert’s Rules of Order, Mr. Bainbridge insisted on doing things his way, particularly after being voted out of the chairman position. She hammered the gavel to silence the rumble of complaint that grew in the room. “Mr. Bainbridge, need I remind you yet again that no motion, vote, or opening for questions has been offered? You are out of order.”

Mr. Bainbridge stood, the movements of his immense girth punctuating each of the sentences that made his response. His argument was passionate, sublime, colorful, angry, and far from humble; he did everything he could to address and exhaust every potential point of contention the other commissioners might have developed during his half-hour dissertation. He punctuated the end of his statements by sitting and going silent.

Ms. Falkenbrecker gave one rap of the gavel and closed her copy of the agenda. “Thank you for that detail Mr. Bainbridge. As you refuse to follow the stated order, we will postpone this issue indefinitely.” And with that, the final meeting of the quarter was ended.

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    1. Thank you, Bee! I think of one councilman we horridly nicknamed “DeForest Belly” (in homage to Star Trek’s doctor, DeForest Kelly) because of similar belly-ness… 🙂

  1. Is there any greater waste of time than in committee meetings like that? I shiver before every coop meeting!
    Loved the bit about his girth, as well.

    1. Thank you, my friend! So many meetings are, it seems, for the sake of meeting and not getting anything done. That’s what I was going for 🙂

  2. This is so good! I love that you used the word malefactors – such a good word. Great writing, really makes me happy I rarely have to attend meetings.