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Flash Fiction, Writing

Write at the Merge, Week 9: Hushed

We have a combo-prompt this week from WATM; give a visit to the website for the particulars and to join in! My offering this go ’round is titled “Hushed:”

Courtesy of HD Wallpapers

Adnan had never seen weather like this back home. His small village just south of Beirut never saw much; his family was able to visit the resorts from time to time and once got stuck along the Zahleh-Dhour al-Choueir-Tarshish road. Marjanne had insisted they vacation at Lake Tahoe this year and the villa she’d rented was lovely; a snow fall had already dropped a meter and a half of heavy flakes and it was still coming down. He knew Marjanne wanted a romantic getaway but the silence was deafening; she knew nothing of the atrocities Adnan had witnessed as a child and how terrifying it was for him to be in quiet spaces. He surrounded himself with traffic, technology, and hustle-bustle just to drown it out. And here he stood, drink in hand, watching the whiteness gather below him as he ruminated out on the balcony while she was off in the powder room, putting on some dainty frilly thing for his pleasure. He’d spent the better part of the day splitting his focus between her excited chatter and planning what he was going to say to her. Time was running out for him, but he truly loved her and didn’t want anyone else to explain the situation, especially after he was gone. He let out a slow and deep breath, and opened the sliding doors. As he stepped into the large family room, he saw that Marjanne had draped herself in front of the fireplace. She sat up and smiled, studying him. His heart swelled as he stepped fully into the room, the silence of the place even more hushed. With steady footfalls, he came to her, hoping that she would be all right he told her the story; it was rare that anyone could remain fully the same after hearing such a secret revealed.

18 Comments

  1. ncnarrator February 26, 2013 2:07 am

    Very nice! Now I want to know what the secret is!

    • AR Neal February 26, 2013 3:26 am

      One never knows when a continuation might pop up 🙂

  2. gretchenfogelstrom February 26, 2013 5:31 pm

    Definitely a tease. What could it be? Love it!

    • AR Neal February 26, 2013 5:48 pm

      Yes, it could be a big ol’ tease…I could go serious, funny, creepy, scary, horrifying, sexy, or silly!

  3. Morgan Kellum February 26, 2013 10:09 pm

    Uh-oh … this definitely lends itself to a series. I feel a little sorry for Marjanne. She doesn’t know what’s coming.

    • AR Neal February 26, 2013 10:13 pm

      Thanks, Morgan! I plan on challenging myself to continue some of the stories as the prompts allow, so we shall see (wiggles eyebrows conspiratorially)…

  4. Anne February 27, 2013 5:22 am

    Oh dear. now I’m left wondering… the foreboding here is riveting!

    • AR Neal February 27, 2013 4:30 pm

      Thank you, Anne! I have the feeling these characters will show up again 🙂

  5. Katie February 27, 2013 6:44 pm

    A great narrative, I hope we will hear the secret soon.

    • AR Neal February 27, 2013 6:55 pm

      Thank you, Katie! I await the direction of Madame Muse 🙂

  6. Annabelle February 28, 2013 1:43 pm

    I too would love to know the secret; sounds like something heavy, from the background he’s meditating on!

    • AR Neal February 28, 2013 2:00 pm

      Very true, Annabelle…hopefully the Muse will share in future!

  7. Write on Edge February 28, 2013 3:13 pm

    There’s such a sense of foreboding and finality in his mood. I hope she’s understanding of whatever he reveals.
    ~Angela

    • AR Neal February 28, 2013 4:15 pm

      Thank you, Angela!

  8. Denise Moschgat February 28, 2013 7:23 pm

    Wow, how very intriquing. I want to know more!

    • AR Neal February 28, 2013 7:23 pm

      Yes, it lends itself to more; thank you Denise for the encouragement!

  9. Tina March 1, 2013 1:17 am

    Ooooh! What is the secret? Way to build up suspense!

    • AR Neal March 1, 2013 2:02 am

      Hehehehe! Not telling! Madame Muse has not given the go-ahead for more!

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