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Flash Fiction, Society, Writing

Yeah Write #98: Whispers

It’s that time again, kiddies! I offer you this short piece for the #98 Speakeasy, and I call it “Whispers:”

Speakeasy #98

Everyone knew.

It was obvious by the pitiless expressions on their faces as they stared at me and Carlotta; I was worried that they would take out their fury on her so I held her close, but loosely, in an effort to seem casually defiant. She shivered as she gripped me ever tighter, her eyes wide as she stared at the people who just days before had been her caring and loving friends. Now, because of me, that was all changed. I tried not to flinch as the first torches were lit, the smell of turpentine ripe in the air. I refused to struggle and I knew that was making them even angrier; it was bad enough that I and my child were accused of witchcraft, but to not show fear in the face of what was to come had them frothing at the mouth to do away with us. Ever closer they came; I could see their lips moving but their comments were muffled, like furious whispers. My wishes and prayers were of no use; Carlotta and I would both suffer tonight.

Speakeasy #98

22 Comments

  1. Meg @Meg on the Go February 26, 2013 8:49 pm

    I really liked this, in went in a differant direction than I would have expected.

    • AR Neal February 26, 2013 8:51 pm

      Thank you, Meg; there is something about the adult’s face in that image…

  2. Bee February 26, 2013 9:36 pm

    Nicely done!

    • AR Neal February 26, 2013 9:39 pm

      {curtsies awkwardly} Thank you, Bee!

  3. deanabo February 26, 2013 10:34 pm

    so sad… very good!

    • AR Neal February 26, 2013 10:35 pm

      Thank you, Deana!

  4. theroadfromhawaii February 27, 2013 1:28 am

    whoo, that was an unexpected take. Well done. annbennett2.blogspot.com

    • AR Neal February 27, 2013 4:31 pm

      Thank you, Ann!

  5. Sandra February 27, 2013 8:16 am

    Really grim – horrifying in fact. Well done.

    • AR Neal February 27, 2013 2:21 pm

      Thank you, Sandra!

  6. Suzanne February 27, 2013 1:46 pm

    Yikes! This is fantastic and awful. What a horrible fate for both of them. But great take on the prompts and nicely executed (if you’ll pardon the pun!).

    • AR Neal February 27, 2013 2:23 pm

      Eek! “Executed…” good one, Suzanne! Thank you 🙂

  7. Esther February 27, 2013 4:42 pm

    I love how you’ve essentially written this as a mystery…the pieces came together slowly, another with each sentence until “turpentine,” when the picture began to jell. I enjoyed it very much!

    • AR Neal February 27, 2013 4:46 pm

      Thank you, Esther! I am glad it worked 🙂

  8. disorderlywanderlust (@diswanderlust) February 28, 2013 4:05 am

    I like it..would be a great intro to a story about the witch hunt, a good hook.

    • AR Neal February 28, 2013 6:37 pm

      Hmmmmm…that is true! I could go there 🙂

  9. Dayle Lynne February 28, 2013 12:32 pm

    This was wonderful! Such an interesting take on the prompts! I’d love to read more about them!

    • AR Neal February 28, 2013 1:34 pm

      Thank you, Dayle!

  10. iasoupmama February 28, 2013 2:27 pm

    OOh! Very taut — and I love how you captured the defiance in the statue.

    • AR Neal February 28, 2013 4:19 pm

      {curtsies again awkwardly} Thank you!! Yes–defiance! That’s the expression I was searching for, but couldn’t put a word to it…

  11. Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom February 28, 2013 9:55 pm

    Woah! Excellent use of the prompts and so much said in so few words. Really powerful and engaging.

    • AR Neal February 28, 2013 9:57 pm

      Thank you so much! Love the handle (“Mod Mom”!).

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