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Flash Fiction, Society, Writing

VisDare11: Superstitious, Pt. 4

Evelyn rolled her eyes; Annisa was hopeless. However, whatever she was saying during her commune with the snails was doing something: the ground beneath them started to shake. She grabbed Annisa’s arm, causing her to shout, “Hey! What are you doing? I wasn’t fini–”

Annisa ended her sentence in a gasp of air as she finally looked around to see why Evelyn had grabbed her. The landscape around them was changing; the buildings were gone and the snails, along with their statuesque perch, were disappearing. Everything was spinning and below them, a vortex had appeared.

Credit: Karishma

“Is that a farm?” Evelyn was astonished, not so much by what she saw but by the fact that she would recognize a farm outside of a picture book. She was so much a girl of the cities and suburbs.

Annisa’s voice was distant. “I hope not, because it’s harvest preparation and sacrifice time.”

Written for VisDare11 and in continuation


  1. Angela Goff (@Angela_Goff) March 13, 2013 10:53 pm

    I LOVE where you’re taking this story!! I do hope you work on fleshing this out in to a cohesive, longer work at some point. I am completely intrigued by where this sudden whirlpool of color and place will take them — and Anissa’s assessment in the last line sounds very forbidding. Something tells me that where they’re going, Anissa will be the strong one, instead of the other way around….

    • AR Neal March 13, 2013 11:06 pm

      Thank you, Angela! I await the leading of Madame Muse, but I suspect you are correct–Annisa will emerge to be the leader of this twosome 🙂

  2. yepiratehere March 14, 2013 4:59 am

    Ominous ending…you’ve got lots of projects rolling!

    • AR Neal March 14, 2013 5:07 am

      And this is just the start! I have a novella I would like to do during Camp NaNoWriMo next month and a book of short stories during the regular NaNoWriMo in November. All I. Addition to the day job 🙂

  3. Mike March 14, 2013 2:52 pm

    Loved the ending. A promise of more to come.

    • AR Neal March 14, 2013 3:07 pm

      Thanks, Mike!

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