One More Non-Mother’s Day

It’s Saturday, and I am surrounded by technology and movies. A laptop and a netbook are whirring away, scanning and securing themselves. The afternoon was filled with poor jokes about even poorer movies–a typical Saturday at our house.

And then it hit me: tomorrow will mark my 18th as a mom, out of which there have been none that came with wishes from my child that were of his own volition. My son has what are called special needs, although with the abundance of ADHD, ADD, autism-spectrum, and mental health diagnoses, all his stuff seems in a way, ordinary.

For those with kids who make cards, bring bowls of cereal on Mother’s Day morning, or pick bunches of dandelions, count yourselves blessed. For some people like me, it’s a day to be thankful for a husband who does his best to fill in the gaps. It’s a day to smile politely at the families with kids doing all sorts of grand things to celebrate their mothers. It’s a day to mark another year of struggle with “special needs” that seems to grow more difficult and oppressive as each day passes.

If you are able, show your love, admiration, and/or respect to your mom, and to at least on other mom you may encounter tomorrow. She might not get it anywhere else.

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

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  1. Happy Mother’s Day – this must be hard. I like the way you tell your followers to extend the wishes to others, I hope that your hubby managed to fill the gaps.

    I don’t know what to say, other than feel blessed that 18 years ago you were given a gift, there are plenty of women out there who will never even get a mother’s day (hope that makes you feel a bit better!)
    x
    PS we are apparently never dealt more than we can deal with, which means you are seen as very strong indeed.

    I have worked with Autistic children and have had many conversations with their overwhelmed parents, it is not easy. But as I say you have been blessed with a child, hold onto that in moments of darkness.

    1. Thank you so much for your encouragement… I struggle daily with my own issues around motherhood and not feeling particularly proficient at it, even after 18 years. I don’t like counting myself a quitter, but there are days…

      I AM grateful, really, even when my tone does not suggest such; I think on those parents whose children are completely out of control and who don’t have special needs, and count my blessings that my experience–while difficult in its own right–is not like some of theirs.

      1. I knew you would be grateful – your tone didn’t imply you weren’t, I was just trying to give you positives to hold onto πŸ™‚
        I appreciate the daily struggle of parenthood full stop, let alone when there are reasons why it is harder than it is for most.
        I am sure you are a great mum.
        Lots of us don’t show our mums enough how grateful we are for them. I will be sending my mum links to my 2 poems- even though she had mother’s day in March!

        You are

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