Weekly Writing Challenge: Hagetha Speaks On Politics, 2013

As a resident of Southern California, I and my 17-or-so million neighbors are presently being inundated with advertisements and news about the election for Los Angeles mayor, to be held on Tuesday, 21 May. This is simply the icing on the cake, considering all the back-and-forth between Democrats, Republicans, and Tea-Party folks right now. We tend to watch listen absentmindedly to television in our house round the clock, with news channels chattering away during breakfast, sometimes at dinner, and occasionally before lights-out. With the latest controversies broiling, Hagetha was thrilled to lend her thoughts on politics.

I'm thrilled.
I’m thrilled.

So Hagetha, what is it about this particular season that’s got you wanting to speak?

Why do you ask?

Well, you have been around, um…ah…

You are calling me old, yes?

Of course not! I wouldn’t be so rude!

Telling the truth is never rude. I am proud to be old. If I wasn’t old, I couldn’t have such wonderful and insightful opinions. In fact, you should listen to me more.

Okay…but can we get back to the subject at hand. What is it about politics that’s got you?

I heard that talking box this morning and the story about the two wizards and their wand battle over who will become supreme ruler of the Angel City. They are not fighting admirably and if I had been called in–as I should have–as Grand Arbiter, I would have disqualified them both and revoked their wand privileges for at least a century. Have I ever shown you my Grand Arbiter card? I hold lifetime status. And it’s not just them that I would disqualify. What about those wizards in Washington? All Benghazi this, IRS that, umbrella-over-the-President, and what not. As Grand Arbiter, I would suspend them all from practicing their magic and would appoint a new Ruler of this nation and its strange offices. As a matter of fact, here is how it would go: First, I would appoint The Chief as National Ruler.

First off, let’s apologize to the basketball team, the Washington Wizards, whom you’ve inadvertently included in your post. And anyway, who is The Chief?

Oh, sorry. You know I enjoy watching the tall ones run on the wooden court. The Chief is an old and venerable colleague of mine. We went to gruel school together. He is a master at anger, bellowing, making arbitrary rules, and casting enemies into vortexes. Perfect for the job. Here, say hello:

All Hail The Chief
All Hail The Chief

Um…sure thing, Hagetha. What would be next?

I would allow the Chief to appoint under-rulers for each of the provinces in this land.

Okay, but we have states, cities, boroughs, townships, and parishes, not provinces. And you still haven’t addressed the point that the Los Angeles mayoral race and the issues in Washington DC are separate; you know that, right?

No, they aren’t. The entirety of these issues rests upon the choice of the correct leaders. You silly people have made the process so cumbersome that it becomes nearly impossible to select a good one for any position. And then when you have chosen a good one (and by the way, why are there no “It” candidates on any of these slates? I could hook you up with some wonderful creatures…but I digress), you muddy the water with innuendo, accusation, and subterfuge. I will agree that all of the issues on the table, such as immigration, marriage equality, fracking, the safety of our troops, minimum wage, and so on are extremely important.

So if you agree that the issues are all important, what’s your point, Hagetha?

[Exasperated sound] My point is that I have never been consulted in any of these matters! What do you think I’ve been talking about all this time?! Guess what, no gruel for you tonight. I’m going back to my corner of the cave now.


Well, there you have it, folks. What do you think about the current political climate in the United States? Feel free to add your thoughts even if you aren’t from the US or live in the US… NOTE: responses will show up in real-time as you answer the poll question.

Thanks for playing with Hagetha today; she came out to deal with the DP Challenge. Visit and add your own divisive issue today.

(8) Comments

  1. dislike politics and the wizards. Celtics are good when we’re talking b-ball,J-lo in the tabloids. Red Sox for everything else!

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