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Flash Fiction

Deblog 9: What Is Love, Anyway?


There are many different theories and ideas about learning styles.

I hear you — What in the world do learning style theories have to do with love, woman?

Just gimme a minute.

So this site gives a great overview of seven different, yet interconnected learning styles. Yeah, it’s not visually (or even grammatically) appealing, so I’ll give you the highlights. But I encourage you to check out the link to read about each style in more depth. What’s here is revised from the Overview page itself:

The seven learning styles and associated parts of the brain:

  • Visual (spatial): prefer pictures, images, and spatial understanding; occipital lobes at the back of the brain manage the visual sense and both the occipital and parietal lobes manage spatial orientation.
  • Aural (auditory-musical): prefer sound and music; temporal lobes handle aural content, while the right temporal lobe is especially important for music.
  • Verbal (linguistic):  prefer words, both in speech and writing; temporal and frontal lobes, specifically two areas called Broca’s and Wernicke’s.
  • Physical (kinesthetic): prefer the body, hands and sense of touch; cerebellum and motor cortex
  • Logical (mathematical): prefer logic, reasoning and systems; parietal lobes, especially the left side.
  • Social (interpersonal): prefer learning in groups or with other people; frontal and temporal lobes, the limbic system.
  • Solitary (intrapersonal): prefer working alone and using self-study; frontal and parietal lobes, and the limbic system.

Some researchers suggest that people operate from one predominant learning style, while others say that learning happens through a combination of styles. I tend to agree with a third camp of folks who say that we have all of them and use what we need, when we need it.

I tend to learn through a combination of visual, physical, and solitary styles with a dash of verbal and logical thrown in for seasoning. However, I learn a lot from aural as well, particularly music. It works like this: I learn best by seeing, feeling, reading, and pondering whatever it is, without a bunch of yapping from someone else.

Now, here’s how this relates to love.

Think about relationships for a second. Love is a pretty big deal, right? I mean, because Valentine’s Day and candies, flowers, jewelry, and other gifts — you know people (I’m thinking women in particular) who are all sour and whatnot on February 15th because their intended didn’t give them all the ooey gooey things they were expecting. Even outside of that ‘special day’, I’m sure you know people who are stuck on hearing ‘I love you’ every 2.3 seconds from their intended. Can you hear my eyes rolling?

Don’t get me wrong — saying (and hearing) those three words is important, but not as important as seeing love lived out and feeling its expression.

And that may not look like you think it should.

Before you click the little X and close this page, consider this.

It’s easy to say something and not mean it. It’s harder to live it out.

I heard those words during the course of my first marriage, but what I saw and experienced were very different. Hearing ‘I love you’ after … shall we say being treated poorly … does not align well with a loving relationship.


Seeing your intended fix something, watching as your intended closes his or her eyes as they taste the dinner you prepared, feeling the warmth of your intended’s greeting when you walk in the door — that’s ‘I love you.’

Appreciating when your intended fixes that broken thing, cooking that dinner, being happy when your intended arrives after a work day — that’s ‘I love you.’

And if you hear it said on top of all that, it’s icing.


And maybe love is letting people be just what they want to be
The door always must be left unlocked







  1. Lyn December 9, 2016 4:03 pm

    Reminds me of the old saying, “What you are doing speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you are saying.”

    • AR Neal December 10, 2016 9:27 am

      Ha! Exactly!

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