I’m Here – Sort Of. Or: Why I’ve Basically Left Social Media

Those who know me well know that I am capable of epic boycotts.

My first occurred when I was in second grade; I believe I shared that once so I won’t do it here.

I boycotted a business back east (it’s been about 17 years now and still going) and for the past two or three years have been boycotting Walmart (I had boycotted them before that, but caved then came back to my senses).

People laugh since it seems like sour grapes, right?

Actually not in this case. It isn’t funny when ugly things happen to anyone, which is why I left.

Becoming annoyed every time one goes on a site is usually the first sign that maybe he or she shouldn’t go there.

I posted a bit of the story on social media. But here is a little more:

If someone wants something in their life — say, a dog — does it make sense to spend time bashing dogs?

I grew weary of seeing posts where folks gripe and complain about the very thing they say they want. Or just as bad, what they have already.

We all have issues, right? But blasting them to the world via the interwebz isn’t the way to make them better. I’ve experienced loss, I’ve run across some people I probably shouldn’t have let into my sanctuary and did (and paid for it), but if I spend some part of every day posting about it, posting about how bad I was treated, about how much I am never going to be that person again, guess what? If I am looking to invite someone into my sanctuary, they will soon begin to suspect that maybe I am exactly that person. Or that I am going to put them in a place where I treat them as if they were the ones who treated me so poorly or left me or stole from me or whatever terrible thing it was and poof! They leave.

The interwebz has become a place where kindness often minimally abides.

People forget about making real connections. Connections that aren’t shallow.

I got a message asking women to take a day off social media to bring attention to abuses. Just one day.

I did it and there were several people I thought would be all about it. Women who have shared their stories of abuse publicly. However, not so much.

The selfies and complaints about everyone and everything went on as ever.

I stayed off for a week and realized my contributions to those spaces evidently didn’t fit expectation since no one seemed to miss my voice.

And that’s okay.

I’ve never fit into typical spaces anyway.

Photo courtesy New Point de View

Dumb and idiotic stuff makes my head hurt.

The interwebz has also given people a free pass to be ugly in print, to put their deepest thoughts out there, no matter who they might hurt.

Just yesterday, I posted a question to my local neighborhood: my boyfriend was grilling out back and saw a police helicopter flying over a house; the loudspeaker was on and they were wishing someone a happy birthday as they flew over. I posted about it and asked ‘Our tax dollars at work?’

  • One person suggested it was a private copter (it wasn’t),
  • another said people should stop complaining because they love our local law enforcement who are so caring (to which I replied that I wasn’t complaining but was curious as I’d never seen anything like that from a police copter before),
  • another suggested (and I concurred) that they might have been on a patrol that took them over the house anyway,
  • yet another suggested a friend of the police might have asked to have it done; maybe I was jealous and if I could, I would do it as well (to which I replied actually I didn’t know anyone who would want that sort of attention and having been in a place where I knew several police personnel quite well, the most I ever asked was for an officer to turn on the lights on his patrol car for my son, who is on the autism spectrum and had a thing for police cars when he was little).

The kicker was the one person who posted later. He suggested something about complainers needing to shut up.

At that point, I replied that — again — I wasn’t complaining and I asked forgiveness for posting a question about something I didn’t know. I further stated that I would not make such a mistake again by asking questions there and wished everyone a good evening. I then closed the post to further replies. Later, I popped in because someone had ‘liked’ one of my replies and saw that this person had deleted his post.

Enough. I’m tired.

I will however hold close to this space.

I am writing (occasionally) on my space epic. Since the Cave is connected to a few social media sites, I’m not gone completely. I will however limit my engagement because there’s too much real life out there.

Real life that is good and pleasant and smile-causing.

There are books being read, shows and movies that make me laugh and cry on the television, students who humble me (remind me to tell you about the one who sent me flowers and a Mont Blanc engraved pen after completing her degree), dogs who wag tails and I suspect are close to using words, and hugs to get and give.

I hope you’ll stick around, that my posts here (and their associated connections to social media) will be like little unexpected holiday gifts.

If you are connected to me outside of here, such as on Facebook or email, drop me a line.

I’ll answer …

(2) Comments

  1. I failed you my friend. I received your pm about the day without women, and forgot to follow through. Time gets away from me easily these days. So I apologize for part I played in your decision to leave social media. Truth is I understand… I do drive -bys on Facebook these days. Check a few current posts and I’m pretty well done. I dont post much unless its related to the boy. Besides… like you said… there is always emails and *gasp* the phone. Actually talking and making connections. Reilly and I were talking about that tonight, that he absolutely hates texting and doesnt understand why people can’t just use the phone. Funny part is, anyone that has ever talked to a teenage boy on the phone you know it is typically a series of one words answers and grunts. Ah well…

    1. Aw, I didn’t even know you’d seen the day without women thing 🙂 You are certainly not to blame for my hiatus … I was so hurt to see the ugly things on that one person’s page. You work with people but never know, right? He didn’t say anything different than his usual but made no attempt to check people who did reply with horrid comments. And all the whining!

      I love Reilly’s comments — he and my mom would be fast friends. She refuses to even have a text plan on her mobile. She still has a flip phone and is feeling some type of way that her provider wants her to upgrade to a 20th century phone 😉

      Love you!

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